The hall was big but the sound of their voices filled it thickly; like pudding. He had to push his way through. They all knew eachother. He knew only himself. He didn't feel safe enough to go up to someone and talk to them. I think i'll get married he thought. If i had a wife, i could talk with her. And we could make pudding just like them.
The room was quite small. and cosy. He sat in it, by himself. flipping through TV channels. He wasn't cosy inside. I think i'll get married he thought. If i had a wife, we could have a cosy little evening together.
He thought himself to be quite wise. 'But i don't like to impose my ideas on other people. it is an implicit form of control.' He kept from becoming a great teacher. I think i'll get married he thought. If i had a wife, we could share ideas and think deep thoughts.
He had many dreams and aspirations, and high standards that he lived his life to. But he was very busy and could not achieve everything. I think i'll get married he thought. if i had a wife we could have kids. and they're gonna be geniuses.
He watched a movie with some love scenes in it. 'Hmm, that seems like a very nice thing to do'. I think i'll get married he thought. If i had a wife, we could have sex and wake up in each other's arms.
He didn't like his mother very much. She reminded him of his own weaknesses. 'i want to move out of here.' I think i'll get married he thought. If i had a wife, she would be brave and crazy and she could love me, unlike my mother.
I like to play guitar. but i don't like playing in front of people. It is too showy and vain. i think i'll get married. if i had a wife, i would play to her and she would admire me. i think i'll get married he thought.
My life seems quite gray. i would like some color in it.
25 comments:
i think he ll get married..and she ll b lucky=]
i think he's sick and twisted
and he shouldn't get married
until he figures out how to be able to do all those things without a wife...then he can do them with her...
And then there will be she as many as he in his story..
no, if he became mature/stable/at peace enough to do all these things alone, he can get married...and she can be his wife...not his mother...
and then 'she ll be lucky'...
Exactly>>>
I think if he waits until he's mature/stable/at peace... he'll never get married!
then he shouldn't!!
who said everybody has to get married??
....u have a point somehow
if he really is committed to becoming more mature, stable, making peace with self, he really should get married... few other realtionships/committments/situations force you, not only to truly face yourself, but to deal with it, make the hard choices... but without a true desire and commitment to growth and maturity, he shouldn't get married.
Its funny how marriage always connected with ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t’!!!
It's funny how most of life is tied up to should and shouldn't!!!
Then if you... Want... you should, otherwise you shouldn’t
i agree with loza's Jan 22 comment.
however i think a person who is committed to growth and maturity would always be looking for trouble...in a good way...i mean, seeking those situations/commitments/relationships that make him face himself...broadening his life...
in your opinion, what is the reason someone should get married?
throatless... that's a really good question! I'm going to think on that one for awhile!
Why should someone get married? Color! Legitimate sex… legitimate children (being a parent makes it all worth it)… community (“everyone does it!”)… Ideally – life partner and companionship… all give color to life.
But then you can get plenty of color elsewhere…
I keep going back to the idea that to voluntarily place myself under a sacred vow is a serious and solemn act of self-sacrifice… it’s not just me wanting to grow and mature and develop as a person, which could be considered selfish motives. (That is an outcome – hopefully!) It’s committing myself, giving myself, to something bigger than me, bigger than us as a couple, even bigger than our family.
I don’t know… just thinking out loud! I keep checking the blog to see if anyone came up with a good answer!
hmmm
i agree...specially with the legit sex part :P
but seriously...
i only want to get married if i am sure that the way i am and the direction in which i am going will be specifically beneficial to the other...and vice versa...
so i don't see it only as giving, because i can give a lot of people many different things. it is this specific type of giving that is involved with who i am as a person.
and to commit who i am, to the growth and nourishment of another and vice versa is probably a very colorful thing.
just some thoughts that crossed my mind.
i'd like to see more people contribute
well i don't think there is a "should" and "shouldn't" ;)
i think sometimes i want to get married coz am afraid that in a while all of the people around, even the dearest, would be busy in their own life and i would end up lonely! or maybe even the idea of being retired at the age of 60 without a partner to fill up my time scares me to death!!
i've had times when i didn't feel loved in a unique or a special way! someone to love me like no one else... maybe a wife can do that :)
would hoping to correct and make up for my family mistakes and an unsuccessful marriage count as another reason?
Everybody needs a soul mate, a partner, for someone to give him that beautiful feeling of safety and warmth,, some of them needs mothers or fathers to fill empty spaces and its not wrong its part of our needs but the only thing matters is to find balance and not to mix things up and this is what you may call maturity and stability.
soloist... ur right! this is part of our needs.. normal needs!
but would love and marriage come to fulfill MY own needs? is it why we get married? is the foundation of love and marriage? something that might vanish in a while? or even change?
a love story i once heard.. did not seek its own.. it sacrificed everything yet didn't get an acceptance.. gave everything and had nothing in return.. then what? it persevered and never failed! had no regard to any insults or disrespect! why? coz this is what love is all about...
If you find someone can give you warmth,
If you find someone you will remember each and every single detail about him,
If you find someone to fulfill your needs
If you find some to understand your weakness and your strengths without even saying a word
If you find someone who makes you say the most beautiful things
If you find someone you may give up everything for his smile.
If you find someone who can stand beside you, someone you can cry all your tears on his shoulder
If you find someone you can tell him with no doubt that you love him
This is the one you will do anything to stay with him
and marriage is a way to do that!!!
why is it not this way?
If you find someone you can give warmth to,
If you have the passion to fulfill some other person's needs,
If you can find someone to understand his weakness and his strengths and yet love him,
am not disagreeing with you... am just thinking out loud!
i enjoyed the idea of love in "7 pounds" movie.. when this man met a woman and he ended up giving the most essential thing in his being without getting anything in return
This is what this discussion ‘should ‘be about.
Marriage is only away or maybe a result
The most important thing is the concept-the human side of us-the essence of life-that missing part, you will spend the whole grainy of life looking for.
That part of you which makes you happy and satisfied when you GIVE even you do not receive anything.
This is the concept of LOVE.
Mothers and mates love.
hmmm
these are interesting ideas that i have always completely rejected in my closed-mindedness
i'll think about them...
even though i don't like to...
What if, after several years of marriage, you don’t feel uniquely loved or valued by your spouse… you no longer have those beautiful feelings of warmth and stability… your spouse doesn’t remember each and every single detail about you… doesn’t value your weaknesses and strengths… or tears…? What if it doesn’t end up vice versa… you’re growing apart, you’re no longer soul-mates? If this is the basis of your marriage, then it’s over. But if love never fails… there’s hope… and a reason to marry!
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things… love never fails. If I am committed to truly love like that… there’s hope.
But I guess it helps a lot to marry someone with the same commitment – not to you especially, but to marriage and true love.
I think if you listen to this sermon it'll help you understand it a bit more :)
http://www.imagodeicommunity.com/podcast/
go to the corinthians sermon on 2/15/09 :)
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